Neurodiversity Blogs
I hope that you will find my neurodiversity blogs informative and helpful.
They are based upon personal and professional experiences.
ADHD and Person-Centred Counselling
Experiencing ADHD
Living with ADHD can feel like being constantly out of step with the world around you. Your brain works differently and life skills which most people develop naturally, such as completing tasks, organising yourself and regulating emotions can be hugely challenging.
This can evoke criticism, leading to feelings of inadequacy and shame. As Ben Polis shares:
I was always in trouble. I was always confused and suffered from low self-esteem, because I did not know what I was doing wrong
Over time you may learn to hide your ADHD symptoms. Whilst this can be beneficial socially, masking can also cause issues such as feeling disconnected from your true (organismic) self, anxiety that the mask will slip, burn out, and exhaustion.
Living with ADHD can also be exhilarating, and absorbing. Many people enjoy their creative flow. Experiencing surges of original ideas can be exciting and energising. Significant relationships may feel intense, deep and meaningful.
Typical ADHD qualities include an ability to act quickly in emergencies, empathy, a good sense of humour, a likeable personality, heightened intuition, and a reliable sense of people and who to trust. René Brooks writes:
I love being creative and able to hyper-focus on things that I really enjoy. That feeling of being 'in the zone' when creating is amazing. Also, though being sensitive to rejection can make relationships difficult, I also feel like it shows how much people with ADHD deeply feel things.
Understanding ADHD
ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is present from birth and thought to be genetic. Differences in brain chemistry affect thinking, behaviour, focus, sensitivities and more. ADHD is complex and people have their own unique experiences of living with it. ADHD presents in three main ways:
Predominantly inattentive – Difficulty paying attention and being easily distracted. Alternatively, concentrating intensely on one area (hyperfocus).
Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive – Restlessness, fidgeting, and interrupting people. Speaking and acting impulsively and experiencing regret and shame afterwards.
Combined presentation – The most usual form of ADHD includes both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms.
Two examples of ADHD in the classroom
A child with inattentive ADHD (often, but not always, girls) is sitting quietly, zoning in and out, with little idea of what is going on. She is falling behind educationally and has no friends. When she is not daydreaming, she feels lonely and anxious.
A child with hyperactive-impulsive ADHD (often, but not always, boys) is causing a disturbance, bothering classmates, and annoying the teacher. He experiences the weight of other people's displeasure and feels angry and miserable.
What is person-centred counselling?
Founded by Carl Rogers during the 1950’s, Person-centred counsellors maintain that nobody knows us, as well as we know ourselves. Carl Rogers explains:
It is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial, and what experiences have been deeply buried. It began to occur to me that unless I had a need to demonstrate my own cleverness and learning, I would do better to rely upon the client for the direction of movement in the process.
As Person-centred counsellors we understand and trust the process. People naturally gravitate towards psychological health and healing when they have the right support. During sessions clients work with areas that matter to them. They are free to explore in their own way and at their own pace.
For people with ADHD who have been required to adapt to neurotypical ways, finding that their own sense of what is needed predominates, can be the start of a rich and healing journey. Person-centred counsellors create an environment where self-confidence and self-esteem can develop. The invitation to lead and to follow your own path can be liberating. It can also be challenging. Some clients choose to explore the challenge, discovering more about themselves and the effects of past experiences as they go along.
The counselling relationship explained
Person-centred therapy maintains that in a nurturing environment people naturally gravitate towards psychological health and healing. Counsellors support this ongoing process by offering Rogers' six conditions for psychological growth.
1. Psychological contact
There needs to be a contact between counsellor and client so that counselling can take place.
2. The client's situation
The client is emotionally vulnerable because the way that they perceive themself is not how they would like to be. A person with ADHD may view themselves as inadequate having absorbed other people's judgements.
3. Genuineness
Counsellors try to be aware of what they are feeling inwardly so that what is communicated to clients is authentic and true to the feelings inside. Clients experience a real relationship with a trustworthy person. This makes it easier to share openly during their sessions.
Counsellors model self-awareness which encourages clients to deepen understandings of themselves. A person with ADHD can learn to view their way of being in terms of personal insights rather than other people's judgements. Recognising the validity of one’s own perceptions often increases confidence and self-esteem.
4. Unconditional positive regard
Parents, teachers, and friends, who respond to us positively only if we meet their wishes and expectations, offer conditional regard.
For example, an ADHD child called Sam is praised for sitting still in class. However, sitting still is difficult and the teacher frequently expresses disappointment as Sam runs around the room. He experiences the teacher's displeasure and feels bad about himself.
In contrast, Person-centred counsellors consistently offer unconditional positive regard, a warm, respectful, and accepting relationship. Counsellors do not require or expect clients to please them. The message is ‘you are intrinsically worthy'.
Unconditional positive regard encourages self-acceptance and allows self-esteem to recover and grow. Clients tend to worry less about failure and rejection as the impact of other people's judgements reduces and their own views and meanings become more important.
5. Empathy
Person-centred practitioners seek to understand and express the client’s point of view. This allows people to hear themselves more clearly. Sometimes moving deeper into the intricacies of their experiences and gaining fresh insights.
Loneliness is reduced when somebody else gets how it is for you. This can be comforting and calming for those people with ADHD who tend to experience emotions strongly. This includes Rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) which refers to intense and painful feelings of rejection and being judged, which may or may not be valid, sometimes believing that you have done something wrong
6.Communication
Counsellors successfully communicate their empathic understanding and unconditional positive regard so that clients can benefit from these qualities.
Choosing Person-centred Counselling
As an experienced counsellor working with ADHD clients, I find that the Person-centred approach has many benefits. What stands out for me is the quality of relationship. Being deeply understood and accepted just as you are, can be a great relief. This applies to people who are struggling and people who are outwardly coping whilst inwardly experiencing the stress of masking and trying to fit in. One of the great strengths of this approach is that it facilitates self-empowerment enabling clients to value themselves, and to move towards reaching their full potential.
Reference
René Brooks. 2018, Things I love about my ADHD
William Dodson. 2025, ADHD Think: Uncomfortable Truths About the ADHD Nervous System
Sharon Pearson. ADHD Chatter. Podcast on You Tube
Ben Polis. 2005 Only a mother could love him. Hodder and Stoughton, London
Carl R. Rogers. 1961 On Becoming a Person: A Therapist's View on Psychotherapy. Constable, London
Contact Paula
You are most welcome to get in touch if you are looking for a Person-centred counsellor or supervisor, who is experienced in working with neurodiverse people. I offer face to face supervision and counselling in Harrow / Stanmore and online if you prefer.
Is Dyspraxia, a Hidden Disability?
Dyspraxia is also known as developmental co-ordination disorder (DCD). It is a lifelong condition, often present from birth, and sometimes acquired later on through damage to the brain. Messages to the body are not sent out in an efficient manner affecting balance, movement, spacial awareness, and co ordination. People with Dyspraxia struggle with various tasks that others manage easily.
The symptoms and their severity vary from person to person. With practice and over time some difficulties can become less severe and alternative ways of completing tasks such as tying shoelaces may be taught or discovered. Certain activities are more relevant to children than adults, and vice versa. Here are some of the areas where dyspraxic children, adults or both may struggle:
Running, hopping, skipping, jumping, climbing stairs, walking along a street without bumping into other people, lamp posts and anything else in one's path. Learning to swim, to catch a ball and to ride a bike.
Dressing without clothes being worn back to front and inside out. Managing buttons, zips, hooks and shoelaces.
Using small objects such as cutlery, scissors, pens, pencils and keys. Drawing and learning to write.
Difficulties with language and speach. Needing longer than most people to take in a question, formulate an answer and find the words to articulate a reply.
Difficulties with organisation, planning and memory
Having a poor sense of direction, forgetting the way, difficulty understanding maps and following directions.
Learning to drive can be extremely challenging and is not always achieved.
Is Dyspraxia a disability?
I would like to present two ways of viewing this question.
1. Dyspraxic people face many issues, and these can affect education, job prospects, independent living, confidence, physical activities and socialising. There can also be psychological effects such as anxiety, low self esteem and depression.
In the United Kingdom Dyspraxia is recognised as a disability under the 2010 Equality Act. Employers are required to make reasonable adjustments that allow dyspraxic employees to perform their job. Children's educational needs are supported with an Individualised Educational Plan (IEP)
2. The Neurodiversity movement has a different aproach. Dyspraxia and other neurodiverse conditions such as ADHD and Dyslexia are viewed as natural differences in the way that the brain functions rather than disabilities.
Strengths which are associated with neurodiverse conditions are emphaized. Talents which are linked to Dyspraxia include: creativity, empathy, problem solving, innovation and determination to succeed. These qualities can be of benefit in many areas of life. However, society is designed to accommodate the majority of people who are neurotypical and that is the source of Dyspraxic disability.
Personally I agree that Dyspraxic people have strengths that can be of great value to society. I can also see that it is often easier for neurotypical people to thrive and fit in. At the same time, Dyspraxic people are dealing with real physical symptoms which can in themselves be debilitating.
Dyspraxia is not very visible
You would not know that somebody is Dyspraxic by looking at them. Dyspraxic people may choose to hide their differences. Instead of letting others see that ‘simple tasks’ such as reading a map and following directions are problematic they might avoid visiting places which they cannot find.
Some people hide their condition by steering clear of compromising situations such as discussions, interviews and public speaking where they are likely to suffer embarrassment due to poor short term memory and difficulty expressing their thoughts coherently.
Certain symptoms can become less apparent since people learn to adapt over time. They may develop strategies such as using written directions and concentrating very carefully so as to avoid tripping over.
Dyspraxia may not be easily identified since the symptoms and their severity can vary from person to person. For example some but not all dyspraxics have verbal dyspraxia which affects speach.
Furthermore, neurodiverse differences can occur together. For example ADHD and dyspraxia. Since there are some common symptoms such as awkwardness in social situations, dyspraxia might not be identified.
With Dyspraxia there is an uneven spread of abilities.
A pupil's poor grasp of geometry for example may not be seen as significant because the same pupil is clearly very able when it comes to essay writing.
At the same time, many symptoms of Dyspraxia are noticeable and not very easy to hide
In the past Dyspraxia was called 'clumsy child syndrome' because it was evident that children with the condition were prone to tripping over and bumping into people and objects. This is due to poor spatial awareness, poor coordination and weak balance. Dyspraxia continues into adulthood although over time a number of people become better at managing their clumsiness.
For some Dyspraxic people running and walking looks awkward due to poor integration of the right and left sides of the body. In my view it is probable that people do notice these traits because they are difficult to miss, however they may not be attributed to dyspraxia.
Social awkwardness can also be visible. This can include misunderstanding what is being expressed due to literal thinking. With literal thinking it is also difficult to get jokes and therefore to react appropriately. People with Dyspraxia might mistakenly interrupt others in a conversation because it is hard to judge when someone has finished speaking, this is particularly challenging in groups.
Concluding thoughts
In general, some of us are more accident prone than others, not everyone has a good sense of direction, or clear handwriting. Occasionally we might fumble with small motor movements such as inserting a key in the correct position and then manipulating it to unlock a door. In order for Dyspraxia to be recognised as a disability it is important to understand that it is distinguished by the level of difficulty and the number of areas affected. This is not always clearly apparrent.
It seems to me that whilst Dyspraxia is to some extent hidden, there are also many signs of its existence. I wonder whether it is sometimes missed because we might see an aspect of Dyspraxia, say a person finding it impossible to park their car between the two lines in a designated space, without realising that this is the symptom of a disability.
Dyspraxia is within our sight but we do not always know what we are looking at.
